Rayna J. Inspiration

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Since we've visited Nashville for the bowl game, I have been ooh'ing and ahh'ing over the foundation and motherland of country music. So much so that I even started watching the series Nashville on ABC. I started with Season 1 episode 1 and now am in the midst of Season 4... and currently binge watching every second baby is down for the night and I don't have to grade papers.

Can I just say that I LOVE Rayna James! She's so down to earth, real and authentic. What I love about her the most is how she's able to be a mom, wife, and have the career of her lifetime even when it gets tough to balance it all. She has also really inspired me lately to be super patient and solution-oriented. For those of you who watch Nashville, I think you can agree that she rarely panics at her or others' problems and looks to be more positive and uplifting instead. Even if you can tell she may be doubting something, she still portrays positivity that this too, shall pass!

There's been a handful of times each day I would let some type of situation cloud my present moment of being. Sometimes that situation can come up multiple times in one day and make me stress or be anxious about what is going to happen. The reality is is that I'm not solving that situation multiple times a day when it comes up in my thoughts... I'm not getting anywhere by worrying about how things will pan out. Instead, I spend useless time just thinking about different possibilities, and of course worse case scenario.

This character of Rayna James often comes to my mind when things boggle my thoughts, her patience and solution-oriented personality inspires me to keep on pushing without stressing about what's going to happen. I've been telling myself, "Yes... I can do it all! I can be a wife, mommy and have my career." Things will progress and get better day by day as long as I stay faithful in God's plan [I also blogged here about different ways to overcome some of these feelings in addition to positive self-talk]!

What works for you when you stress about life?

Live Together

Things have been quite busy over herrrrr. BUT I do have a few things I want to chat about which will make for great posts. One of which is totally top of mind for me...

If you haven't been on social media or don't watch the insanely scary news, there have been quite some monumental historical happs out in our world...

Political scandal

Rape victims

Shootings of innocent people

Retaliation against law enforcement

It makes me so sad. Sad that we are not only suffering from international terrorists, but now we are hurting our own people. We are turning against ourselves. To be in a country where it's home of the free does not give the right to society to do as they please, without any respect, without any compassion, without any love for one another.

This is NOT the world I am proud to have my child (or other children) grow up in. In the midst of all this chaos, I am trying to dig deep myself to find the silver lining. Personally, it's taking quite some energy (who doesn't go stir crazy with their own thoughts when thinking about the what if's)... but the silver lining for me has been looking at all of this as a wake up call.

Instead of taking some common sense for granted, I want to TEACH. I want to teach our children more about diversity and love. I want to teach them that there are no color differences when we look at others. I want to teach respect is a necessity, just as much as it is earned. I want to teach them about unconditional love and forgiveness. As much as I will teach my child, I also will re-teach myself.

I have nothing but the utmost love for you all, and if anyone ever wants to chat about reactions, feelings, or just thoughts about how this violence, I urge you to lean on others... and you certainly always have my open ears to listen!

How are you feeling with all of this?

Honesty

If I'm being honest and candid with myself, I can say that things are different in my life than where I was just a short year ago:

   - Instead of being home in Cali renting an apartment in Redondo Beach, we now live in Nebraska where we are first time home owners!

   - Rather than going to work every morning, I'm a MOM, staying at home to raise our bundle of joy until I'm ready to go back to the workforce... (WOW! Now if these first 2 points don't scream out adult, I don't know what does)!

   - We used to live just a hop, skip and jump away from our family in LA, and now we're a 5-hour (or so) flight away from them.

   - We were so close to the beach that we can smell the ocean from our home, but now we are FAR from the coast and instead live where the cornfields grow wildly.

   - I used to bleed cardinal and gold full time at USC, and now I am learning to share the blood of scarlet and cream of the Huskers.

Needless to say, if I'm honest with myself, I miss where I was a year ago. Some of those things just felt so right. Again, if I'm honest with myself, I also LOVE where I am today and wouldn't ask to take back any moment of this transition in my life. I'm learning to live differently. To just BE in a different place. Being honest with myself means staying true to myself, as William Shakespeare quotes.

I challenge you to stop masking any honest feelings you may have. Share them with yourself in a journal, or with someone else, and celebrate that honesty because you're worth the celebration!

Un-Becoming...

How many of you have ever thought you just HAD to finish what you started? Not because you actually had desired to do so... but because you just felt you had to keep going since you already began to take steps towards something?

I went through school non-stop (like most of my colleagues did). In my senior year of undergrad school, I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do for work and figured that I still had some self-discovery to do. I thought that graduate school would open many doors of opportunity for me... I would be able to learn more about psychology in ways I didn't have a chance to while earning my Bachelor's Degree. I also knew that if I were to take a break and work full-time after I graduated, it would be difficult for me to return to graduate school (at least that's what people around me made it seem like). SO, I applied for graduate school in a Master's program, and BOOM! I started that Fall semester.

THEN... when I was in my freshman year of graduate school, one of my professors engaged in a conversation about why those of us who were enrolled in the Master's Program were not enrolled in the Doctorate Program. Her points totally made sense... we were all in the same classes (until later on), and she pointed out that we would benefit SO much more for putting in the extra 2 (or so) years to work on a dissertation and complete a Doctorate degree, especially when we would be looking to start our career.

Hence when I decided to switch over to the PhD program! Before I knew it... I was in school for another 5 years to finish up my Doctorate degree. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for that opportunity I worked very hard for, and I really don't regret pursuing grad school at all.

BUT there was not one time that I actually stopped to think or discover or ponder on what I was deeply truly passionate about. Sure I worked throughout all of undergrad and graduate school, but I can't say they were ever jobs or internships that I was so passionate about that I couldn't imagine doing anything else in life.

Like I said.. I don't regret any of my time in college. However, I'm certainly doing some self-discovery as of late in my career and life to think about what motivates me... what drives me to learn until I'm blue in the face... and I am totally okay with that, even if it strays from what I thought I would be devoting my career to while I was in school!

I encourage you all to think about your passions and how you might try to pursue them if you are able to! The million dollar question to ponder on is...What makes your HEART sing?

He Cares for You

As we face one of the hardest football seasons we've had since the Hubs has been on a coaching staff, we do our best to stay positive and uplifting. The Cornhuskers are 3-5 thus far, and those 5 losses have been by a TOTAL of 13 points. We tend to do great throughout the game against our opponents, but it's towards the end of the game that we tend to give up those very few points... which makes the losses that much tougher.

There's only so much we can do or say as coaches wives, as fans, as football lovers. But this verse says it all... and even better... it's from the most reliable source mankind has - the Word of God. If we cast our anxiety and cares on God, we need to trust that the anxiety and worry we carry will be taken care of by our God because he cares for us. Having such worries in life does nothing for us... it doesn't make us stronger... it doesn't change us for the better... in fact, most of the things we worry about do not even surface in reality meaning it's SUCH a waste of time!

This is such an important message I have to meditate on quite frequently in life. Although I can't stop myself from worrying about many things, I can definitely remind myself to trust in my God and cast my cares upon him, for He cares for me.

This week as we prepare to face Purdue, I will pray for our coaches and players, and leave my worries behind me (as should you!).

Believe

FEAR. It gets the best of us in life! It can drain you from goals. It can strip you away from your passion. It can blind you from your vision. And the worse of all? It is totally an unpaid job!

Sometimes (more often than usual for me lately!) we let those negative thoughts cloud our vision. Believe it or not, I'm still coping with the news about the re-org at my previous job. My top 3 fears have been that...

... it'll be hard for me to find something in this new state I reside in.
... transitioning from motherhood back to the workforce will be soooo hard.
... I can't contribute financially to our family.

In reality, I realize that these fears are actually preventing me to believe. Believe in myself, in my future, in the unknown. I've been working really hard at creating the upmost highest vision for myself lately, and things have just been happening that is giving me the inspiration I need to overcome these fears.

In the past month, my paths have crossed with a few people that have opened up my eyes and doors of opportunity for my career. I met someone that is looking to start up a project around some of the same passions that I have: helping college students prepare for the "real world" (aka finding a career that matters). I also met someone that has his own consulting company and is looking for a thought partner (and potential business partner!) to bridge some of the gaps that exists in his operations. Great things are happening that are totally stimulating my mind and stimulating my visions.

I also have been out and about hanging out with some of the other coach's wives, which has totally helped with my homesickness. They have reassured me that I'm not in this football life alone (even though the hubs doesn't get done with camp until midnight these days). It feels awesome to have other strong and independent wives and mothers to help relate and talk to along this path.

I must say, these networking opportunities would not have come about if I let FEAR get the best of me. Instead, I had created amazing visions for myself... not only will I find my career path in this new environment, but it will totally be aligned with my passions... and also that I will establish great friendships that will help me get through the football season and throughout all of life. I am beginning to believe that I WILL be successful at any point in my life, as long as I want to be!

What are some of your FEARS in life? How can you begin to overcome these fears so that you can start believing?

Character is Everything

How many times have you heard someone (or yourself) say things such as, "Don't ruin your reputation" or "Reputation is everything"? I can't lie if I said I've never spoke of reputation or jeopardizing it in some sort of fashion. But, in hindsight, CHARACTER just speaks volumes of yourself in comparison. Character refers to qualities based on an individual basis. It is unique to you and defines what you are, and how you portray yourself.

As I prepare to embark on the chapter of motherhood, I can't help but think about character... how I will honestly be as a mother - opposed to what others think of me. I strive to be compassionate, patient, loving, understanding yet disciplinary. It's not so much about what other mothers or family might think of me as a mother, but rather what I actually am doing to raise my sweet boy. As nervous as I am on this 6 week countdown, I do know that character means more to me now than it ever did before.

When you look back at your life, what's more important to you... who you truly are or what others think of you?

Finding My Determination

This is one of my favorite quotes by FAR! How many times do we compare ourselves to our teammates? Our friends? Our colleagues? It's not the person next to you that you should be comparing yourself to. God created each of us distinctively different. Biologically, no 2 of us are made exactly the same, which is such a blessing! Can you imagine a world of duplicates?? We'd be like soldiers from I Robot... which I have NO interest in!

I recently went through a huge life change in regards to my career that I have yet to digest. Our University just went through a $10 million cut in salary, which completely affected our department. The entire pillar that I was a part of was dismantled and our time has come to an end. When I was told this news a few months ago, I panicked! Here I have a baby on the way, my move to Nebraska was stabilized because I had the opportunity of a lifetime to work from home, and with the news I was feeling a bit lost. Along the way, my colleagues were applying for prestigious jobs which I was very excited for... but I still was feeling some type of way as if I were "stuck" waiting for my sweet baby boy to arrive. Although I was super excited for them, I can't lie if I say I wasn't envious of my colleagues applying and landing some MAJOR jobs. I began to think, "what if I don't find a job soon after the baby is born?"... "how long will it be?"... "will I ever be marketable again?" Thoughts that arose because of those negative internal voices.

BUT after long days of thinking, meditating at yoga classes, confiding in my colleagues, family and of course my hubs, I'm starting to feel at peace with where I'm at in life. I'm preparing for a MAJOR job of my own, and that's to enter the world of motherhood. What comes after, I have yet to find out, but I trust that God has my back and His plan will be nothing short of amazing like the rest of His plans have been.

Instead of envying someone for something you don't have, be grateful for what you do have. I get that it's easier said than done... especially when you have moments you are feeling like you can't get a break. But we can learn from each other, lean on one another, and trust ourselves whenever we need a boost of that determination!

Words of Wisdom

Who needs a Monday to be inspired?! I LOVE this quote by Helen Keller, as it speaks to the determination and persistence she had in life for success. 

- How many of you feel defeated after this week?

- Who dwells too much on something that went wrong?

- Why can't we focus on what's right and celebrate those quick wins along the way?

I'll be the first to raise my hand on these questions. BUT it's not to say that I (or you) can't turn this boat around. If you put positive out, you will receive positive in. It's the honest truth!

Maybe you just graduated from high school or college and are feeling a little lost.... 

Maybe you have been applying for jobs left and right, but haven't had a call back... 

Maybe you have so much work that it consumes you professionally and personally... 

Or just MAYBE you're pregnant and your to-do list just keeps growing as time is nearing for your baby to be blessed in this world (just sayin'). 

Whatever it may be that troubles you, I'm here to say this is NOT the end of the road for you. Good things are destined for your future IF you want them to be! Stay focused and recharge and reboot when you are feeling down. How?? Well, just to name a few ideas... 

- Take a walk in the fresh air.

- Walk away from the computer and take some deep breaths.

- Grab a cup of coffee or tea to replenish your energy.

- Hug your dog or your loved one.

Go into this weekend with GOOD CHEER and remember that each day is building onto your success!